“I don’t understand it.”
“How can you be with someone incarcerated?”
“It makes no sense.”
“These relationships don’t work.”
Well critics, thanks for your thoughts but I offer this: All relationships are different.
No one can ever appreciate the depths of a relationship between two people. Outsiders will not speak the language, cannot read the nuisances, nor understand its infrastructure.
People design relationships that work best for them. If their design doesn’t look “right” to you, it’s not supposed to.
What do you think?
Let’s cut to the chase. There is etiquette to everything, even in the prisoner’s wife lifestyle. There is a disturbing trend in our community of investigating one other, as in sleuthing out who, what, when, where, and why of crime committed by another woman’s man.
Here is a bit of etiquette more important than what fork goes with what meal. The #1 thing you should NEVER do: DO NOT Google the crime of a person’s husband/boyfriend/partner.
The rule should speak for itself but if a ‘why’ is needed I’ll comply.
You should never do this because:
- It’s not your business. The time it takes doing this takes away from time you can work in your own life.
- It discriminatory. There is no point to it unless you want to set yourself apart, i. e. You (or your guy) are better.
- It’s destructive. Of course, you won’t keep the intel to yourself. Nope, you gonna run tell everyone you know. Set off a gossip mill. Inevitably, hurting its target.
- We ask the world not to judge us. We must not judge each other.
Here’s another ‘why’. Ask yourself why you need to know?
We live in a world of nonstop information. Salacious details about others are fodder in times of boredom. Each week there is a new, more horrific crime reported.
Our community first and foremost is about the supporting the partner on the outside. People need to feel comfortable with what they say and who they say it to. Trust is paramount. We need to feel as if those who should understand how and what we feel–do.
When you violate a person’s trust and go beyond the information they want to share by digging into the life of their partner, it smacks of hypocrisy. And, doing this brings a certain mean girl-esque quality which destroys bonds. More importantly, it kills the power of us coming together for a common goal—to change perceptions.
In the new year, let’s resolve to treat each other with respect and quite frankly, mind our own business! Happy New Year!
Did you miss our show on Prisoner’s Wife Etiquette? Listen here.
What are some of your rules of etiquette?