Are you going through life pulling when you should push or vice versa? That’s another way of asking–Are making things harder than they have to be?
Think about it?
What in your life seems really difficult? Can you change this with a shift in perspective?
I’m not sure anyone can truly “understand” another person’s life story, but if they want to keep asking, I’ll keep answering.
Hope you enjoy it. ~Reesy
Correct, loving anyone is a risk. I believe society uses those modifiers because they dont completely understand how we love our men, forgetting they are men. People fear what they dont understand. Any relationship, inside or outside of prison can have its challenges. I have been through many cancerous relationships with men that were not in prison and this with my husband is the most loving and calming I have ever had. Its love, just love~
Recently, I did a show with five members of the documentary Prison Wives. One of things I learned during our conversation is that 30 hours of their lives was condensed to 45 minutes. There has been a lot of negative feedback from our community. Many of us have been extremely judgmental, cruel, and mean about the lives of the “prison wives.” I will admit that I was one of them. I felt some of the shows did not show the lifestyle in the best light. There was one show in particular that really rubbed me raw.
While speaking to Jane Bailey, Pam Booker, Tim McDonald, Grace Dark Horse, Juli Cummings, I felt a kinship with them because, quite frankly, I am one of them and though I have hang ups with the term “prison wives” for its slang connotation, I also learned the show could have ended up with another name that would have been much, much worse.
One of the biggest complaints in the prisoner’s wife/partner community is about people judging us and treating us like pariahs, but we in turn do the same to others and more egregiously, to our own kind.
Think about it. If someone were to film 30 hours of your life and cut it down to less than an hour, there are bound to be things left out and misrepresented. This helped me put that episode that bothered me in to context. I’m sure there was a little bit more information I needed to know to understand this woman’s plight, BUT if all things stayed the same, I don’t have the right to speak about how she deals with her life anyway. Who am I?
Bottom line, sometimes we live a double-standard of judgment. It’s never okay to speak ill of anyone’s life when you are not living it. Yes, as a community we deal with the same issues. I’ve heard it described as being in the same boat, but we come to this life through different experiences and backgrounds. We all do the best we can. While I might not chose to deal with certain aspects of this life in the way another woman chooses to deal, it doesn’t mean either one of us is right, wrong, better or less. We are different; different, yet the same.
To learn more about the series Prison Wives, click here.
To listen to the interview on Mrs. GE-6309 Time, click here.
What do you think?
Ever thought about applying for the job to be with your partner? Sure, you already have the position, but what fun to create a romantic cover letter and resume, highlighting your skills and experience.
Please find enclosed my resume for the position of Love of Your Life.
I believe my skills and experience are a good match to the criteria for this position. I have extensive experience in dating and relating to the opposite sex.
I’m a team player and love the benefits of being in a relationship.
I believe I can make a positive contribution to this position, and am looking forward to the opportunity to work with and under you.
Please contact me should you require any additional information.
To obtain the position of Love of Your Life.
Promoted to the position of fiancé, after a couple months of dating, being friends and laying a foundation. A year later, I obtain the highest honor of being Mrs. Nivens Thompson.
- School of Hard Knocks, Class of Yesterday Today
- Masters in the ART of being Reesy
- Masters in Prisoner’s Wife-ology
- Degrees in Ambition, Stress, Self-Improvement
- Currently enrolled in Life Experience Training
With over 23 years dating experience and six years of marriage, I’ve heard positions as a girlfriend, main chick, side piece, booty call, and wife. Responsibilities include: couple appearances, supporting partner, ego-stroking, keeping a home, relations, mothering, friendship, mind-reading, arguing, hearing and listening and other duties as assigned.
- Almost seven years of being a prisoner’s wife.
- Gained self-confidence, assurance, and reliance.
- Know all of your favorites.
- Perfected being the “ying” to your “yang”.
- 8 years of pole dancing.
- Ability to drop it like it’s hot.
- Expert multi-tasker.
- Good listener.
References furnished upon request.
You can make this as basic or as detailed as you want. Go apply for those positions. I got a feeling you will be hired on the spot.
Write a cover letter and romantic resume for your partner.
Just like businesses and non-profit organizations, have a mission to stay on track to provide goals and structure, relationships should have one as well. Sure, we vow to love, honor, [obey], be together forever and ever, but what is expected as we are getting through to the forever part.
What do you want to achieve?
What rules do you want to abide by?
The Thompson Family union is our strength, power, and fortitude to deal with life’s up and downs. Our marriage is designed by us and is not governed by influences of society or religious references, unless we choose. Our union is 100% of each of us. It is a safe haven, a place where masks are not needed, but different faces are encouraged. Our support of each other will empower us to be ourselves stripped to the bone. Our mission is to love each other in a place where space and time does not exist. We will continue to live by the concept of “WillReese.”No one half is greater than the whole. We will respect and encourage each other’s growth and development as individuals, because our strength as a couple relies on our separate, but equal abilities. We are a couple who inspires others with our life and love and who model what it is to be in a great relationship.
Write a mission statement for your relationship.
Nivens and I continue to find ways to reaffirm our commitment. We like to perform an annual checkup on our relationship, testing its emotional health and strength.We provide a list of prescriptives, a personal diagnosis of our current condition. As our union matures, our wants and needs change.
Our relationship health depends on minimizing potential side effects.
Here is my recent checkup:
Things I am:
I am a handful, dramatic, overbearing, stubborn.
I am still mourning the death of a dream.
I am ready for a traditional life.
I am that chick, any chick.
Things I am not:
I am not without flaws. In fact, as the years pass, some seem to get worse
I am not as happy as I seem.
I am not easy.
I am not the same chick you married six years ago.
Things I will:
I will continue to make the most of a less than ideal situation.
I will hold it down, until you can take over.
I will support and encourage you.
I will play my position.
I will love you like none other.
Things I won’t:
I will not make promises I can’t keep.
I will not hide how I feel.
I will not tolerate anything that jeopardizes your freedom.
Things I can’t:
I cannot change the way the world views you.
I cannot be responsible for your happiness but I can continue to do those things that create that feeling for you.
I cannot live on a pedestal. If you continue to put me there, you must promise to catch me when I fall.
I cannot love you past your pain, but I can love you to a place where your pain is less relevant.
I cannot set you free.
Things I need:
I need you to be patient. I don’t have all the answers.
I need to feel special. It’s leftover residue from not having my dad around. Sorry, you have to clean it up.
Will you accept all these things I am, am not, will, will not, cannot, and need? As long as you will have me, I am yours. However, if you go back to prison, you are on your own. Love your wife. ~Reesy
What’s in your annual checkup?
My husband, Nivens, LOVES breakfast. We often ate breakfast for dinner, pancakes, eggs, juice—a full buffet. He also loves eating breakfast at Shoneys, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with my family (my two sisters, their husbands, their kids, mom me). Actually, our first wedding is at Shoney’s, goofing off with the family, me, complete in a napkin veil. On every trip to his favorite eatery, he had another one of his favorites—apple pancakes. [Ick!] I am a basic eater. I don’t like my foods to touch, nor do I mix flavors. Fruit is to be eaten as fruit, not on top of, inside of, or mixed with anything else. Hand me an apple, I will eat it, put it on top of pancakes…not happening. I am a no butter, syrup only, kind of girl; butter pecan syrup, if I’m feeling adventurous.
Since his incarceration, my family and I have been to Shoney’s, several times. Despite an empty seat at the table, his place is always filled. I keep at least one picture of him with me at all times. Whenever we are all together at breakfast, I take out the picture, set it up on the table, and place a plate of apple pancakes in front of it. We all take turns “speaking” to him.
At the end of last month’s visit, as my mom said her goodbyes, I overhear her telling Nivens that his plate of apple pancakes is waiting. It’s my job to remember his likes but for my mom to remember is akin to saying “We miss you”. In that moment, I feel as warm and gooey as those glazed, slathered apples.
Whenever I have my version of pancakes, I think about the apple version and what it represents— a time when we were a complete family, when I didn’t have an empty seat beside me, when I didn’t have to speak for him, when our love was just sweet without the added bitter.
I look forward to breaking the fast of not having Nivens home. He lists a trip to Shoney’s on his upon-freedom-to-do list. This time a picture of him won’t be necessary because Nivens will be with us and we will be complete.
I want apple pancakes.
What is your husband’s favorite meal?
What is his favorite place to eat?